THE RULES OF ENAGEMENT: NO SOCIETY HAS EVER ABORTED ITS WAY TO PROSPERITY
Right now women are aborting thousands of children every day so they can buy more shoes and biggers SUVs to crash into other SUVs. Those thousands of children--your kids--would have gone on to become productive citizens, brain surgeons, inventors, leaders, and entrepreneurs. But now they're dead, and so's your social security, and your grand-children too.
NO SOCIETY HAS EVER ABORTED ITS WAY TO PROSPERITY
HEED THESE RULES OF ENAGEMENT, YOUNG MEN!!!!
Women all favor big government because they're used to getting fucked by any liar who promises to pay for them.
CHAPTER 1: THE RULES OF ENGAGEMENT
0. A pickup line is only as good as the person using it.
1. If she dresses provacatively, treat her provacatively. She'll like it.
2. If she flirts with other guys, look for other girls to flirt with--you'll need to be active in this, just to keep up. Women flirt passively, so you'll never beat her at her own game.
3. If she's had sex before you, and she doesn't want to have sex with you, then you might just be a meal ticket while she rebounds. How does it feel, punk--you buy her meals so she can afford drinks when she goes out clubbing with her friends, so I can grind on her ass for free, slip that thong off later, and blast my white manlieless on her ass.
4. If she wears underwear for all to see, then never pay to see it.
5. If she's good friends with some guy she used to screw, sooner or later you're gonna get screwed. Ask if you can watch.
6. If she drinks a lot, start looking for a different girl, but don't tell her, as that would be confrontational and impolite--let her figure it out when she's drunk off her ass one night and sees you out with her.
6.5 If she tells you she has a boyfriend, it means she'd fucking out of wedlock. Go ahead and fuck her out of wedlock too. Or don't. Go find some guy to go home with--I don't give a fuck.
7. If she thinks that she's an artist or writer and her work sucks, be careful--next thing you know she'll be thinking she's a virgin.
8. If she has credit card debt and college loans, let some other sucker pay for it.
9. If things are getting serious and she needs to keep going out clubbing with her friends, then things are not getting serious.
10. If she tries to spend the night but never puts out, ask her what she's thinking. She'll think you're sensitive and put out. If she doesn't, ask her to leave so you can whack off.
11. Never ask a girl to marry you unless, 1) she is debt free, and 2) you want children. Do not marry a girl just to have a DVD-rental partner.
12. If she ever lumps you in with "all men" in a snotty sort of way, or condescendingly says, "all men are alike" chances are every other man has fucked her to.
13. If she ever says that all men think about is sex, ask her why she's the one wearing lacy bras and thong underwear. Is it just more comfortable having a fishing line riding up her ass?
14. If she's been with more than three people, chances are you might be the fourth, but you won't be the fifth through the seventeenth.
15. If she bitches and moans about evil conservatives on a date, make a mental note to ditch her after you've spent a couple liberal nights with her.
16. If she fucks one of your friends and wants another chance, you might as well fuck her one more time.
17. Always go until a girl says stop--you can find out a lot about where she's been and where she's going.
18. If she dresses provacatively, flirts, and then doesn't put out, ask her out on a date and don't show up. If you meet her out later, she will fuck you out of respect.
19. If she ever bitches about some guy who fucked and chucked her, then you know how she was born to be treated. If she didn't see it coming then, chances are she won't see it coming now.
20. If she discusses her feminist classes, you don't have to pay for anything that night--in fact, wait for her to pay.
21. If you ask her out, and she doesn't mention her
boyfriend until after you've picked her up, chances are he's going to be pissed if he ever finds out what happened after all of that.
22. If a girl brings up some guy who raped her, who she never pressed charges against, and starts accusing all men of being rapists, call 911, hand her the phone, and tell her you're not a vigilante.
23. Always tell your friends that you don't mind sharing if they don't mind going second.
24. If a girl has ever kissed another woman or been in a threesome, then before you go any further, you should watch her in one of these. Otherwise you'll go nuts trying to figure out the details.
25. When a girl tells you she slept with someone else, it is over if you are half a man. But don't break up with her that night, as chances are she only told you to get a rise. Kindof shrug, bang her a couple more times, or until she thinks everything's cool, and then lose her number. Remember this one cock rule for woman you become close to.
26. Once upon a time drunk, easy women could only be found at brothels. Thanks to feminism, they can now be found at colleges.
27. Women who flirt and don't follow up abuse their fleeting power. It's exactly what they'll do in divorce court infront of the bong-smoking judge, so get the hell out.
28. Until women all gather in a great big room and agree to stop acting like sluts and tempting each-other's boyfriends, it ain't gonna change.
29. Far more women enjoy deconstructing Shakespeare and the Bible rather than lamenting about the immorality of hiphop.
30. Most people lack the imagination to see how
relationships could be better, so girls live like animals. And guess what--it's going to get worse until conservatives lead a renaissance.
31. If a girl is majoring in feminist studies and doesn't put out, ask her if she's been taking notes
32. If she watches Sex and the City, you have full license to do anything with her you see on the show. In fact it is your obligation and duty. If you don't satiate her appetite, somebody else will. Hell-I'll do it for you.
33. If she claims to be a Christian and then sings along to eminen's "Superman," ask her if sometimes she feels overpowered by Satan. Never disappoint Satan on a date, or Satan will make her fuck some other guy.
34. Always give a girl the benefit of the doubt-give her romantic poetry, send her flowers, until you see her drunk. Then fuck'n'chuck her.
35. Time is on your side in all of this. Her clock's ticking-yours isn't.
36. A "friend with benefits" is no longer a friend when the benefits are gone. And how long does it take to get bored doing some chick who doesn't respect herself?
37. Now that all girls take the pill, anal really isn't necessary, is it?
38. Only the liberal elite and their "enlightened" republican brethren and are allowed to make money off of porn and hold higher office.
NO SOCIETY HAS EVER ABORTED ITS WAY TO PROSPERITY
HEED THESE RULES OF ENAGEMENT, YOUNG MEN!!!!
THE ULTIMATE RULE: NEVER BUY A RING
It is well-known that America is headed for a communistic matriarchal dictatorship.Women all favor big government because they're used to getting fucked by any liar who promises to pay for them.
CHAPTER 1: THE RULES OF ENGAGEMENT
0. A pickup line is only as good as the person using it.
1. If she dresses provacatively, treat her provacatively. She'll like it.
2. If she flirts with other guys, look for other girls to flirt with--you'll need to be active in this, just to keep up. Women flirt passively, so you'll never beat her at her own game.
3. If she's had sex before you, and she doesn't want to have sex with you, then you might just be a meal ticket while she rebounds. How does it feel, punk--you buy her meals so she can afford drinks when she goes out clubbing with her friends, so I can grind on her ass for free, slip that thong off later, and blast my white manlieless on her ass.
4. If she wears underwear for all to see, then never pay to see it.
5. If she's good friends with some guy she used to screw, sooner or later you're gonna get screwed. Ask if you can watch.
6. If she drinks a lot, start looking for a different girl, but don't tell her, as that would be confrontational and impolite--let her figure it out when she's drunk off her ass one night and sees you out with her.
6.5 If she tells you she has a boyfriend, it means she'd fucking out of wedlock. Go ahead and fuck her out of wedlock too. Or don't. Go find some guy to go home with--I don't give a fuck.
7. If she thinks that she's an artist or writer and her work sucks, be careful--next thing you know she'll be thinking she's a virgin.
8. If she has credit card debt and college loans, let some other sucker pay for it.
9. If things are getting serious and she needs to keep going out clubbing with her friends, then things are not getting serious.
10. If she tries to spend the night but never puts out, ask her what she's thinking. She'll think you're sensitive and put out. If she doesn't, ask her to leave so you can whack off.
11. Never ask a girl to marry you unless, 1) she is debt free, and 2) you want children. Do not marry a girl just to have a DVD-rental partner.
12. If she ever lumps you in with "all men" in a snotty sort of way, or condescendingly says, "all men are alike" chances are every other man has fucked her to.
13. If she ever says that all men think about is sex, ask her why she's the one wearing lacy bras and thong underwear. Is it just more comfortable having a fishing line riding up her ass?
14. If she's been with more than three people, chances are you might be the fourth, but you won't be the fifth through the seventeenth.
15. If she bitches and moans about evil conservatives on a date, make a mental note to ditch her after you've spent a couple liberal nights with her.
16. If she fucks one of your friends and wants another chance, you might as well fuck her one more time.
17. Always go until a girl says stop--you can find out a lot about where she's been and where she's going.
18. If she dresses provacatively, flirts, and then doesn't put out, ask her out on a date and don't show up. If you meet her out later, she will fuck you out of respect.
19. If she ever bitches about some guy who fucked and chucked her, then you know how she was born to be treated. If she didn't see it coming then, chances are she won't see it coming now.
20. If she discusses her feminist classes, you don't have to pay for anything that night--in fact, wait for her to pay.
21. If you ask her out, and she doesn't mention her
boyfriend until after you've picked her up, chances are he's going to be pissed if he ever finds out what happened after all of that.
22. If a girl brings up some guy who raped her, who she never pressed charges against, and starts accusing all men of being rapists, call 911, hand her the phone, and tell her you're not a vigilante.
23. Always tell your friends that you don't mind sharing if they don't mind going second.
24. If a girl has ever kissed another woman or been in a threesome, then before you go any further, you should watch her in one of these. Otherwise you'll go nuts trying to figure out the details.
25. When a girl tells you she slept with someone else, it is over if you are half a man. But don't break up with her that night, as chances are she only told you to get a rise. Kindof shrug, bang her a couple more times, or until she thinks everything's cool, and then lose her number. Remember this one cock rule for woman you become close to.
26. Once upon a time drunk, easy women could only be found at brothels. Thanks to feminism, they can now be found at colleges.
27. Women who flirt and don't follow up abuse their fleeting power. It's exactly what they'll do in divorce court infront of the bong-smoking judge, so get the hell out.
28. Until women all gather in a great big room and agree to stop acting like sluts and tempting each-other's boyfriends, it ain't gonna change.
29. Far more women enjoy deconstructing Shakespeare and the Bible rather than lamenting about the immorality of hiphop.
30. Most people lack the imagination to see how
relationships could be better, so girls live like animals. And guess what--it's going to get worse until conservatives lead a renaissance.
31. If a girl is majoring in feminist studies and doesn't put out, ask her if she's been taking notes
32. If she watches Sex and the City, you have full license to do anything with her you see on the show. In fact it is your obligation and duty. If you don't satiate her appetite, somebody else will. Hell-I'll do it for you.
33. If she claims to be a Christian and then sings along to eminen's "Superman," ask her if sometimes she feels overpowered by Satan. Never disappoint Satan on a date, or Satan will make her fuck some other guy.
34. Always give a girl the benefit of the doubt-give her romantic poetry, send her flowers, until you see her drunk. Then fuck'n'chuck her.
35. Time is on your side in all of this. Her clock's ticking-yours isn't.
36. A "friend with benefits" is no longer a friend when the benefits are gone. And how long does it take to get bored doing some chick who doesn't respect herself?
37. Now that all girls take the pill, anal really isn't necessary, is it?
38. Only the liberal elite and their "enlightened" republican brethren and are allowed to make money off of porn and hold higher office.
posted by 101 Rules of Engagement at 3:37 PM
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